Rotten Boaters Pt 1

First of all, I’m in a foul mood. 

I moved from LV to Paddington Basin earlier.  The only available spot here was under a footbridge, directly over the world’s loudest jacuzzi. It’s obviously not a jacuzzi but - whatever the water churning device in the basin is - it sounds like a jacuzzi, keeps working 24/7 and I am moored on top of it.

Before you ask why I haven’t moved, my lower back is on the verge of going into spasm so I daren’t. For now, I’m stuck here, wearing earplugs and dealing with the constant movement caused by whatever the contraption is that lies beneath me. Furthermore,  I’m feeling empathy with everyone who has ever flipped out in public for no apparent reason. Yes, I am on the verge of madness. 

This is the worst mooring spot ever. Luckily, there is a tube strike tomorrow so I’ll be able to stay on board and get used to it.

Why didn’t I stay where I was in Little Venice? There was plenty of space there. I wasn’t annoying anyone and no-one was annoying me. 

I didn’t stay there because my 14 days was up and muggins here didn’t want to get a patrol notice or be known as one of those evil, sociopathic overstayers.

Because, if I’m honest, I don’t like people who overstay.

Now, I have occasionally overstayed myself and, in order not to be accused of hypocrisy, I’d best confess that I don’t like myself very much for having done so.

I’m not really talking about a few extra days here and there though. Most of us have done that  - emergencies, weather etc. Shit happens. I’m talking about the long termers, those who think that they have a God given right to stay wherever they want for months on end and will boldly shout about how anyone who doesn’t like it should mind their own business. 

On a side note, not long ago, I was moored up in Islington and deliberately got up at 6.30am in order to fill up with water before moving on. When I got to the water point, another boat was already there. They weren’t filling up. They were just there - moored up (I found out later they’d been there for over a week). What does that even mean? Only 5 water points in central London and one boater thinks it’s OK to hijack one for their exclusive use. 

I moored up alongside them and - and climbed over their boat to attach my hose to the tap. The owner came out and wearily complained that I’d woken her up. I smiled, secretly,  wishing that I’d filled up at 3 am instead. 

I pointed out the obvious and she said, “I’ve got permission to be here from CRT.” I choose to assume that she was lying. In the event that CRT are capable of such insanity, I simply prefer not to believe it. Fingers in ears. Lalalalala.

As for the constant overstayers, I hear stories that CRT are clamping down and even removing boats from the water. Usually, these stories are told in the context of how evil and heartless CRT are. Sometimes, I find myself nodding and expressing that sentiment too but - inside - I’m not always siding with the boater. I’d sometimes like to stay for months at an awesome mooring or not pay for a license. However, I don’t and I therefore reserve the right to judge others by my own standards. Why would I sympathize with them? I’m human and that’s not how humans are. We support those who behave as we do. We do not support those who behave in ways that we do not. 

If I choose not to overstay somewhere, it’s not REALLY because I care about the rules or that I feel obliged to keep the system moving or create a space for another boater. It’s primarily because I’m fearful of the consequences I might incur by breaking the rules.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should also state that my water tank lasts just over 2 weeks. Consequently, for me, after 14 days I HAVE to move to fill up and - if I have gone to the trouble of driving my boat to the water point anyway - it’s not a significant extra burden to moor up again somewhere else afterwards.

My point is that, if (a) I was less fearful of authority and (b) I had a bigger water tank, I would find  the temptation to overstay far greater than I do with my current temperament and tank capacity.

I don’t like overstayers but partly it’s because I cannot be one. Perhaps, I’m just jealous.

Anyone in Paddington fancy a jacuzzi? I’ll swap spots with you.

Joel

Feb 4th, 2014