Rotten Boaters - Pt 2

When I first got a boat, I sometimes used to drive too fast.

I remember zipping past a line of moored boats once and being shouted at to, “Slow the fuck down.”

Through ignorance & anger, I shouted back, “Fuck you. I’m nowhere near you.”

“That’s hardly the point!” he yelled.

“Well, what is the point?” I yelled back.

He didn’t say anything.  Perhaps he didn’t know either.

These days, I’m more careful when I pass moored boats because, these days, I understand the point. 

My own pins have been pulled out by the wash from speeding vessels a few times and, consequently, I try not to do that to others.  For the most part, us human types empathize better when we have first hand experience of the situation in hand. So, nowadays, when I pass moored boats, I tend to slow down.

Last summer, I was cruising along the Grand Union, somewhere around Leighton Buzzard . It was a gorgeous day during the heatwave and I felt happy and relaxed. My boat and I were chugging along  so slowly that other boats were overtaking. The pace of my boat matched the pace of my mind.

Just ahead of me, there was a cluster of residential moorings and - out of instinct rather than necessity - I slowed down even further.

As I passed the moorings, one of the boat owners jumped out of his back door and, sarcastically, called over, “Oi - have you got a plane to catch?”

I snapped out of my daydream state. 

“What?”

“You’re going too fast!” he shouted. His face was red. Slow down!” 

I saw red too. 

“If I was going any slower, I’d be going backwards,” I called back, “Use your eyes.”

Instead of retreating to his boat or, heaven forbid, admitting that he might have been mistaken, he turned self righteous and started droning on about inconsiderate boaters and the perils of creating wash.  My calm demeanor was long gone now. I pulled my throttle into reverse. I felt compelled to continue the discussion. 

Reversing a 60 ft boat is an unexpected and powerful mid-argument strategy. As I pulled alongside him, the self righteousness, pride and pomposity drained from his cheeks. 

To a stranger, especially when I’m not smiling (which is often)  my appearance can appear a little disconcerting as I am a bit overweight. I used to think that there could only be an upside to eating less, working out and slimming down. However, a larger build definitely has its silver linings - even when that size had been fueled by pizza and cookies rather than free weights.

As I reversed, I had a flashback to a boating encounter I’d once had near Uxbridge with a grumpster who routinely came out of her boat to stare judgmentally or reprimand every passing boat. She had a reputation for complaining to other boaters - whether there were grounds to do so or not. Consequently, some boaters deliberately sped up every time they passed her.

“That line of yours about catching planes?” I began, “You say that to every boat who passes by, don’t you? That’s your little catchphrase, right?” 

It was a gamble but by the way that his expression shifted., I knew I’d hit a nerve. Without a word, he went back into his boat and closed the door. I resisted the temptation to drive away at full throttle. I was no longer calm though. My serenity had been stolen away from me and I was filled with unwanted adrenaline.

As I drove on, I tried to process what had just happened. 

Perhaps, over time, so many boats had sped past him that he had developed some kind of OCD and constantly felt triggered to prevent it in advance. 

The heatwave may have been a factor too. It had been extreme of late and, consequently, tempers were more prone to being lost. 

Ultimately, though, my sense was that it came down to a need to feel in control - a trait I recognize in myself too and one that contributed to my decision to live on a boat in the first place.

I touched on this in a previous post but I think a lot of boaters have control issues. You need to feel that you do not have enough freedom in order to take the decision to create a life which is - superficially - all about freedom. I can certainly identify with that scenario. The trouble is that a solution is usually more complicated than a lifestyle change. Floating around on a canal might help but, unless the deeper subconscious cause is dealt with too, over time, the problem will morph itself into the new lifestyle. That’s also a part of my experience and, perhaps, one of the reasons why I created this blog.

For me, living on the water initially provided the calming antidote to life’s stresses but that was only a temporary fix. Boating moved me on to the next phase of my life, yes, but the essence of who I am and what drives me has not really changed. Whilst my awareness and understanding has evolved, deep down, I still have a need for freedom and control that I sometimes seems insatiable. At the root of that is anger and - if someone tries to control me or restrict my freedom - it’s that anger that always rises to the surface. 

The “Have you got a plane to catch” guy pushed my buttons by unjustly accusing me of speeding past his boat and his use of sarcasm & cliche probably angered me even more. However, even if his complaint had been justified, I would probably have felt the same. 

A few weeks after I met him, I performed the mid-argument boat reversal for a 2nd time....

Joel

Feb 7th, 2013