At 3 pm today, I was having my hair cut in Camden.
The lady with the scissors had cut my hair several times before and, as usual, the conversation turned to boating.
“What do you do when tourists stand on your boat?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said, “That’s never happened to me.”
Less than an hour later, I was lazing around on my little ship when I felt the boat wobble. It was not the kind of wobble caused by another boat passing or the kind caused by a strong gust of wind.
Someone was standing on my boat.
My mind sped up. Over the next 3 seconds, these are the thoughts that came and went.
- I am not double moored. That is not another boater.
- I have not overstayed. That is not CRT tying a patrol notice to my rear door.
- It therefore must be a stranger. A stranger is standing on the stern of MY boat!
By the 4th second, I had become infected with a sense of territorial self righteousness. I exploded off my beanbag, removed the glass from the nearest porthole and stuck my head through the hole. A young girl, early 20‘s perhaps, was pointing a camera in the direction of my rear deck.
“What’s going on?” I shouted.
“We’re just taking a photo,” replied the photographer, nervously.
“Get the fuck off my boat!” I yelled in the direction of my stern.
“I’m so sorry!” came the invisible cry - the voice of another girl - as she stumbled back to the towpath, the place from where she should have never dared stray. She sounded mortified.
Then they were gone.
How would she like it if she found a stranger posing for a photo on the front step of her house?
What she’d done had been even worse!
She had been standing ON my boat!
That’s practically inside!
Outrageous!
I closed up my porthole and sat back down.
Then I started to feel guilty.
In just those 3 words - “I’m so sorry!” - I had heard fear, sincerity, regret and anguish. I do not want to be responsible for causing another person - one who intended me no harm - to feel those things.
Their crime had not contained a hint of malice. It had been nothing more than a naive transgression and, for that, I had turned Pitbull on them.
I wanted to find them, tell them it was OK, that I understood the innocence of their mistake. I wanted to gently educate them, explain that these boats are people’s homes - not tourist attractions.
The moment has passed though and I can only manage my guilt with the thought that - perhaps - I taught them an important lesson that will serve them well somewhere down the line.
On the other hand, I’ve got a cute story lined up for my next haircut.
Joel - March 5th, 2014
We identify with your pain.Twice in Belgium, before we'd even got properly tied up, an entire bridal party swooped down on to the pontoon, the bride draped herself and flowing garment over our nb, the photographer photographed and then they all departed, without a word spoken. We stood there, ropes in hand, mouths open. Don't know the word in Flemish/Walloon for audacious.
ReplyDeleteI'm in Camden so should perhaps have expected this - but in Belgium ??
DeleteI live in Stratford and walk along the canal a lot. I frequently see tourists just stepping onto boats looking at plants etc. I don't own a boat (yet) but do hire and think I would probably react like you. It is your home after all. Don't feel guilty but maybe if it happens again a jokey little quip will get your point across. Failing that, press gang them into boat polishing duties!
ReplyDeleteOnly had that once.....what gets to me more is people grinning inanely through the windows.
ReplyDelete